So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
