we made out on top of his cat.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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