i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
