worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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