Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
