If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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