There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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