Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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