another moral hangover. fuck.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
