You're so nebulous sometimes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
