So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
