Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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