Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
