This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
