I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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