NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
