I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize