His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize