I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Couch. On fire.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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