Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
