It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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