New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
