I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
