Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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