I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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