The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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