Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
