I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
