Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
