He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, beer. Big fan.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
