Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
