Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I want to have your abortion
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
