And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
