It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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