Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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