what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
