It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
