she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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