Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
