I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
