I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
