3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
