Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
