I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize