her facebook's as public as her vagina
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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