My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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