Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
