My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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