I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize