...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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