so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
