Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
