Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
