dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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