Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
