I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
