Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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