I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
