Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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