Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
