maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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