i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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